So what is the song about?

Let me start by saying one of my weaknesses is trusting God. When I was younger, I struggled to trust anyone outside of my immediate family. I would get literally sick when my parents would leave on business trips and I had to stay at my grandparent’s house. On a regular day, I couldn’t spend a single night at my cousin’s house, let alone a friend’s house, without calling my parents crying in the middle of the night for them to come get me. I would get so STRESSED OUT that I was safe! (Side note…Can you even believe I was like that, with the lifestyle I live today? Crazy! God heals.) Also, there was NO WAY I was going to let my uncle drive me around in his truck, cause I knew I was going to die…and no one but  my dad was going to take me out on a boat ride…because I was confident that they would flip the boat over with me in it. Like I said, I have had a hard time trusting!

As I have gotten older, trusting (or the lack-of) has looked a bit different. Thankfully I have become comfortable traveling away from home and my immediate family for months at a time, and I can successfully sleep through the night almost anywhere. Sometimes I am comfortable going on boat rides…yeah, I’m still working on that one…haha But what is crazy, is finding out that my lack of trust still sits deep in my conscience, and still rears it’s ugly head with particular situations more than others. The last 12 months have been tough, as God has been stretching my trust in Him. If you were in touch with me prior to 12 months ago, you will remember some of this.

Traveling around the country with 4-6 people gets pretty tight. Literally, space is small…but more interesting than that is how closely knit our lives become for the ministry that God has called us to. I say “us” because what God has called me to, requires a lot more people’s help than just my voice, songs, and guitar. My family and my band are not only my very best friends, but they are my co-workers and bible-study partners. They are like hands to the vision of ministry God gave me years ago, and the greatest friends anyone could ask for.

Now that you have a taste of how much I love the people I work with, you can guess that if any one of them were to leave the ministry (coupled with my hard time trusting God popping it’s head up), that it wouldn’t be the easiest change for me. So guess what God did? Over the last year (and after tonight’s show here in California) I have witnessed five people that I care about more than most leave the ministry with me on the road in response to the callings that God was giving them. For me, this has been crippling. Hours and hours of life together with them almost immediately halted. Our lives don’t halt, which is the hardest part — but our time talking, praying, ministering together does. There is an immediate shift. Change. Trust has to happen (that God will provide). When all I wanted all year was some consistency, God gave me the opposite. Not exactly my favorite dessert, right? It has been a year of re-arranging, re-arranging, and re-arranging again…waiting on God to show me who HE has in store to join the ministry. Sometimes that waiting sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard! NO MORE!! GOD PLEASE!!

All that to say, God gave me “Let Go” before Adam left the ministry (guitar player who had been with me for five years), and I believe with all my heart that those lyrics were prophetic to the year ahead of me, because over and over it has proved true in my life.

For those of you wondering, Dylan Williams (electric guitar player) left touring with the ministry in January because he felt God calling him on to bible college for a season, and then on to nursing school — a passion Dylan has had for some time. Tonight, Chris Rumbles (bass player/cajon player) will be having his last show with my band as well. God has called him off the road for a season, to seek Christ in a different place. He hopes to get back on the road sometime in the future, but for now he believes God has asked him to trust Him with the directions He has given him thus far.

So the song remains true for me yet again…TODAY, even.

I am learning to Let Go.

Wherever you find yourself, I hope and pray that today you might see his love one more time in a fresh, exciting way…even if it only brings peace over you for a moment.

I have been really captivated lately by thoughts that drive me wanting to understand more of the obvious truths of who God is. More often than not I feel like I make God way more complicated than He really is…Not to demean the depth of his heart or character whatsoever (!)…but I feel like sometimes I overlook the obvious pieces of his heart, in pursuit to understand the great mysteries of him (that no one can quite figure out for some reason! lol) Anyway, lately I have been craving the obvious. Craving to see him right in my house, in the everyday, mundane…in the simple.

Have you ever thought of the combination of all the pure depictions of God’s love in this world? For example, the love of a father for his daughter. The love of a mother for her children. The love two people can have for each other as best friends. The pure passion a man has for his wife, and vise versa. The passion (aka love) of a ministry to see their vision take root. These are only a few small pieces of great love in this world. Imagine combining all of these, plus a billion other genuine expressions of love. You will only get a shaded color of who God really is (for God is love). Shaded. Wow…what a lover.

So if God is a lover, then who does he exert his love on? US. GOD loves us. He is constantly (with no reservation or condition) pouring out his love on us. It never stops, never changes, and comes with a passion that can do nothing other than leave us limp. No one and NOTHING will ever compare or continue to love us as long as God does. It’s romance like we’ve never imagined, and purity like we’ve never seen. Think God is boring? Think again. He IS love (again, in the purest, most beautiful form; not perverted and contorted as the world expresses), and don’t forget this: he gave us the desire for love. So if we desire love, and He IS love…then we should recognize the obvious. He is what we are wanting…and it’s the most exciting love to be had.

So the obvious? God loves us more than we know. He is a passionate God! I want to know HIM more!!

AND WE KNOW THAT FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOD
ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD,
FOR THOSE WHO ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE.

Wow. My grandma has been giving me this verse since I was a child, and tonight it weighs heavily on my heart.

Have you ever questioned why something is happening in your life? Friendship struggles, fighting with your parents, maybe you have been through an ugly divorce, separated parents, a frustrating conversation that seems to have no solution, a song you have written that you feel needs to be heard but seems impossible…? Is there any type of pain, any type of anquish in your life tonight?

When I find myself in the midst of frustration or confusion (or simply a lack of clarity on any issue) it is always hard for me to drink this verse. I want to believe it, but it seems so hard. Ever been there?

This week I am in Nashville, working on songs for a new project (yay!) and God flipped a light on in my mind tonight as I began to settle down, take my contacts out, and get ready to sleep. My contacts are out – so forgive me if there are typos, haha…I had to come share this.

So basically, I just got off a month long tour this past Sunday…the Friday before Sunday we drove straight from Napa, CA, to Seattle, WA, so I could catch the plane Sunday. To be honest, coming to Nashville was the LAST thing I wanted to do as I drove into WA, finally tasting a little familiarity after a month of being gone. The LAST thing I wanted to do was get on the plane. I knew I had a packed schedule for the coming week and a half, and seemingly not enough energy or brain power to write new songs. So you get it – I was TIRED! In those moments I fought God. Told him how much I didn’t want to go. Told my mom how much I wanted to stay home. Convinced myself that I was going to be the dry rag rung out all week, and grudgingly got on the plane.

Fortunately, I have a mom who prays. She prayed and asked that God would give me fresh energy. Those of you who follow me on FB or twitter prayed for me as I asked for “fresh energy”. I thank you! God was faithful. But not only that, he has BLOWN my mind this week.

On Monday, I was blessed to write with Chris Stevens (Toby Mac’s producer), Tuesday I wrote with Krissy Nordhoff (wrote “Your Great Name” sung by Natalie Grant), Wednesday I wrote with Aaron Rice (several Toby hits, including “Made To Love”) and Rusty Varenkamp (Tapesty producer) and hit hard on two songs I am STOKKEEEDDD about, and now yesterday (Thursday) and today (Friday), I spent getting to know and working with David Garcia (Group1Crew) on a song I wrote a few trips ago with Steve Wilson (Hawk Nelson). I don’t say all of this for any other reason than to show you how incredible God is. I still have Monday and Tuesday next week to work, and I can’t wait to see what God has in store. Seriously, this has been the BEST trip to Nashville I have had yet.  But here’s the kick: I didn’t want to come. But God was silent when I cried out to him about not having energy or strength to come…so I had to come.

All this to say – if you are in a situation where things are hard, where you feel like God is silent, where you don’t know what’s going to happen next. Maybe you are praying to have custody of your kids. Or maybe just that you can run into an old friend because you are lonely.

Wherever you are at in life right now, you can be SURE of this:

ROMANS 8:28

AND WE KNOW THAT FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOD
ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD,
FOR THOSE WHO ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. (side note…not our purpose! HE is in control! Now there’s a place to lay your head tonight!)

Blessings, peace, joy, hope, and love to all of you who read this. May God comfort you tonight.

Holly

Great Job, Daniel! Keep it up!!

Getting the opportunity to walk up and down Rodeo Drive, eating incredible food (that you definitely can’t find on the farm!), seeing people dressed to the nines at a simple coffee shop, walking inside of one of the most beautifully ornate hotels I’ve ever seen (one of the rooms can cost up to $25,000.00..not joking for a second!)…not to mention the mansions I saw and beautiful driveways that precede them — all of these things were before my eyes this week. What gets even crazier, is all of that right next to the OCEAN, with sunshine and no humidity! Ah! Sounds so great, yeah? 

I can’t lie, it was enticing. The thought of living with all that stuff sounds pretty glamourous, right? Am I alone on that or do you agree? It would definitely be a little different than paying for engine trouble, sleeping in Walmart parking lots night after night, trying to find a shower everyday without paying for it, feeling bad asking venues for food all the time, looking for ways to pay my band so they can live and eat…not gonna lie, the thought of having insurmountable wealth sounded pretty irresistible at moments.

Of course, we all know (in our good moral minds, lol), that money “isn’t everything”…right? But how about when you are surrounded by family problems and frustration…loneliness or depression…a feeling of “poverty” (in your own sense). Don’t we all think, at one point or another, “Man, if I only had —, then I would be so ‘content’”. Be honest with yourself. I know that thought passes through my mind every once in a while when I feel like what I am doing just isn’t going to make it much longer. Ever feel that way?

I found myself lost in thought one afternoon as I was looking through the windows of high-class clothing stores, one after the other. I was thinking those exact thoughts. Then it was like “BAM!” A thought crossed through my thoughts, perhaps the Holy Spirit. 

“WISDOM IS FAR FAR BETTER THAN ALL OF THIS!” 

Can you really imagine that? Can you? 

We look around, we can physically SEE how life could ‘benefit’ instantly from these earthly treasures. We can’t SEE wisdom. We can’t see it. But God says that Wisdom is BETTER!! 

Thinking of my physical daily situation and tying wisdom to it somehow is BETTER than having what I can see (gold, silver, money, wealth, mansions, ***** hotels and restaurants, amazing cars…) 

Today, think about this. If you find yourself desiring something that isn’t yours, stop yourself and really try to meditate on this verse — it is rocking my brain!

How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver. Proverbs 16:16

A few others that compliment this thought are:

2 Corinthians 10:3-5
Although we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal (of the flesh) but mighty through God, to the pulling down of strongholds) Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.  

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 

Proverbs chapter 4

Proverbs 8:11
for wisdom is better than jewels, 
and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.

What do you spend your time wanting? Let’s be a generation who seeks/prays for wisdom every morning. Write a reminder on your mirror, on a note in your binder, on your car’s steering wheel…wherever. Let’s change our perspective!!! 

Have a great day!!

Holly