“Never Going Back” Story Behind the Song

17 Jun “Never Going Back” Story Behind the Song

“O LORD my God, I called you for help and you healed me.” Psalm 30:2

Many of you know this part of my testimony — how I battled with body image throughout high school, and how it only led me into a dark, lonely place where I found myself crying out to God for His kind of healing. I was at my wits end, to say the least. Through an urgency in my spirit, I decided to dedicate a year to praying for this healing. About two-thirds of the way through that year, I woke up one day and noticed something had changed within me. As one day led to another, so did the change become greater and greater. God was answering my prayer! He was peeling away the grip of lies wrapped around my heart. I am not the same today as I was then, and there is no way in the world I can go back there — simply because the kind of healing that Jesus brings is that powerful. In John 9* we learn about the blind man that Jesus gave sight to. It was that kind of healing. You just cannot go back! Yes, there are still days of temptation and still days I fall — but the kind of strength I have today is a kind of strength I didn’t have before…His strength.

That’s only part of where I drew from while I was writing* “Never Going Back”. Obviously when you experience such a (good) dramatic transformation in your life all you want to do is talk about it! But there is another person I was thinking of while writing this song—I was thinking of you.

See, when we put our faith in Jesus, change happens. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean big testimonial stories, but change/growth in the everyday struggles – love, joy, peace, patience….the “fruit” of the Spirit. It’s kind of like a mark on those who truly walk with Him (1 Corinth 13).

I must clarify. When I say “you” I mean two people. First, to those of you who believe in Jesus and depend on Him for your source of strength, life and hope. Second, to those who don’t.

To those who do, “Never Going Back” is an anthem. It’s a worship song to God for all he has done in our life, but it is also a tool to participate in the work Jesus left us to do before He ascended into heaven (Matt 28:19-20). I believe one of the most powerful ways God gives us the opportunity for doing that (going into all the world and making disciples…) is our testimony (sharing how Jesus has changed our life). As you share this song with others, it will give opportunity for the question to be asked “What do you mean?” I pray for an opportunity where you would be able to share your trust in God as a result of this song!

To those who don’t, well, this is part of my story. I pray it would beg you to ask questions, to continue seeking after truth, but most importantly to never give up hope in your pursuit of it. I believe if you seek, you will find…and that there is lasting satisfaction to your thirst.

To all of you collectively — I think of you daily and pray for you often. The burden God has put on my heart for you to know Him is one I carry with deep joy in my heart. He is everything we need!


*(John 9:1-11)
As he (Jesus) went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, “Isn’t this the same man who used to sit and beg?” Some claimed that he was.

Others said, “No, he only looks like him.”

But he himself insisted, “I am the man.”

“How then were your eyes opened?” they asked.

He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”

** “Never Going Back” was co-written with Scott Cash and Ryan McAdoo 🙂

  • Sherry Cunningham
    Posted at 15:33h, 07 August

    Holly, I want to thank you for all your doing for others. I saw you at Mission K when you opened it up with a concert. I bought your latest cd at that time and I can’t quit listening to it. You give me at my age and you at yours so much inspiration I can’t even tell you. Keep singing for God he loves your heart. Thanks again Holly.
    Ps still want a t-shirt size xl grey I’m a slave to nothing I believe it said. Stay strong in Christ.

  • Holly
    Posted at 16:25h, 07 August

    Hi Sherry!

    Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement! Unfortunately we are sold out of the Grey XL Slave to Nothing Shirts and will no longer be placing that order again. If you are interested in any other shirt you see on my website, please let us know! Thank you for all your support! It means so much to not only myself, but my team too! God bless you!
    Holly 🙂

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