18 Feb “Let Go”…and the story behind it.
First of all, I want to thank you if you have purchased my new single, “Let Go” ! It is a great blessing that I have been given to share what’s happening most recently in my life with you. I hope and pray it is not just another song in your collection, but one that brings encouragement to your life at some point…maybe even if it is twenty years from now 🙂
So what is the song about?
Let me start by saying one of my weaknesses is trusting God. When I was younger, I struggled to trust anyone outside of my immediate family. I would get literally sick when my parents would leave on business trips and I had to stay at my grandparent’s house. On a regular day, I couldn’t spend a single night at my cousin’s house, let alone a friend’s house, without calling my parents crying in the middle of the night for them to come get me. I would get so STRESSED OUT that I was safe! (Side note…Can you even believe I was like that, with the lifestyle I live today? Crazy! God heals.) Also, there was NO WAY I was going to let my uncle drive me around in his truck, cause I knew I was going to die…and no one but my dad was going to take me out on a boat ride…because I was confident that they would flip the boat over with me in it. Like I said, I have had a hard time trusting!
As I have gotten older, trusting (or the lack-of) has looked a bit different. Thankfully I have become comfortable traveling away from home and my immediate family for months at a time, and I can successfully sleep through the night almost anywhere. Sometimes I am comfortable going on boat rides…yeah, I’m still working on that one…haha 🙂 But what is crazy, is finding out that my lack of trust still sits deep in my conscience, and still rears it’s ugly head with particular situations more than others. The last 12 months have been tough, as God has been stretching my trust in Him. If you were in touch with me prior to 12 months ago, you will remember some of this.
Traveling around the country with 4-6 people gets pretty tight. Literally, space is small…but more interesting than that is how closely knit our lives become for the ministry that God has called us to. I say “us” because what God has called me to, requires a lot more people’s help than just my voice, songs, and guitar. My family and my band are not only my very best friends, but they are my co-workers and bible-study partners. They are like hands to the vision of ministry God gave me years ago, and the greatest friends anyone could ask for.
Now that you have a taste of how much I love the people I work with, you can guess that if any one of them were to leave the ministry (coupled with my hard time trusting God popping it’s head up), that it wouldn’t be the easiest change for me. So guess what God did? Over the last year (and after tonight’s show here in California) I have witnessed five people that I care about more than most leave the ministry with me on the road in response to the callings that God was giving them. For me, this has been crippling. Hours and hours of life together with them almost immediately halted. Our lives don’t halt, which is the hardest part — but our time talking, praying, ministering together does. There is an immediate shift. Change. Trust has to happen (that God will provide). When all I wanted all year was some consistency, God gave me the opposite. Not exactly my favorite dessert, right? It has been a year of re-arranging, re-arranging, and re-arranging again…waiting on God to show me who HE has in store to join the ministry. Sometimes that waiting sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard! NO MORE!! GOD PLEASE!!
All that to say, God gave me “Let Go” before Adam left the ministry (guitar player who had been with me for five years), and I believe with all my heart that those lyrics were prophetic to the year ahead of me, because over and over it has proved true in my life.
For those of you wondering, Dylan Williams (electric guitar player) left touring with the ministry in January because he felt God calling him on to bible college for a season, and then on to nursing school — a passion Dylan has had for some time. Tonight, Chris Rumbles (bass player/cajon player) will be having his last show with my band as well. God has called him off the road for a season, to seek Christ in a different place. He hopes to get back on the road sometime in the future, but for now he believes God has asked him to trust Him with the directions He has given him thus far.
So the song remains true for me yet again…TODAY, even.
I am learning to Let Go.